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What’s something you’d like to achieve but feels impossible to you right now?
Some things that are so far off your screen, they’re unthinkable… but still somehow attractive. You’d be proud to have achieved. Might even be on your bucket list.
It’s revealing to look inside that vault within us, the one we’ve labelled as ‘The Impossibles’, those things that are currently totally beyond us.
But what if the walls of that vault were actually made of wafer bread? What then might be achievable in your life?
I had such a vault of ‘inconceivable’, ‘unthinkable’, ‘utterly impossible’.
And yes, the above photo is a punch-line spoiler. But let’s unpack some of the vault-melting insights that preceded this this image.
Read moreI’ve always enjoyed sports and fitness but as an incidental. Throughout most of my adult life, I’d go to the gym twice a week for maintenance and a bit of ‘me time’ – not particularly goal-driven.
I was happy to follow Shaun’s (the gym instructor) lead. So when he said, ~10 years ago, we needed more cardio I thought ‘ok’ and we so began, literally running one lamppost, walking the next to get started.
Again, not particularly goal driven.
Eventually this graduated to a regular Sunday morning catch up, just Shaun and I, to run 5 kms followed by a coffee – always a celebratory coffee!
This grew as we challenged each other. More hills. Longer runs. Less walking on the hills. New scenic off-road trails.
Eventually we got up to 10 kms – non-stop, even with hills. We started to enjoy running – felt the relief of a body that was more willing, no longer the recalcitrant, complaining conscript.
We didn’t do any organised events for over two years, until ‘Tough Mudder’. TM was a mid-winter mudfest, where you got electrocuted, swam through ice-mud holes, and ran the hilly 18 km course.
We’d never run that distance. Not even come close, so this was a pinnacle achievement. We tested our outer limits and survived…. and actually thrived; we extended our outer boundaries of possible.
It felt deeply exhilarating.
The question was, what next? This was back in August 2017.
As a parallel side-story, my (and in fact our family’s) life had been shattered by the passing of our beautiful 25 yr old daughter (Danni) in February 2017. A victim of brutal lymphoma cancer.
I was still emotionally raw, floating through life struggling to make sense of what made no sense.
But one thing that anchored me was a promise I made to Danni in our last conversation-of-significance together. She made me promise to ‘Step Up’. A life-commitment I willingly accepted – not knowing the ‘how?’ or what that would form it would take.
This became the new lens / criteria I would look at the world and my life through.
So, when the question of ‘What next?’ arose after Tough Mudder, I had no-idea (I was still barely holding it together) but I knew I didn’t want to lose my fitness.
It was at this point, my good friend and wise running partner Shaun asked, ”What about the Tarawera Ultramarathon, February 2020?” Over two years away.
(An Ultra-marathon is any distance over the usual 42km of a marathon. Tarawera’s annual event has three ‘Ultras’ – 52km, 100km and 160km. Shaun was referring to the 52km).
That thought right there, to run 52km, sat squarely inside in my ‘Impossible’ vault. I’d never run more than 18 km, never conceived of running a marathon… so an ultra?!
Don’t be ridiculous!
In that moment I got to see (and feel) the dimensions of my ‘Impossible vault’, and how impenetrable were the walls – they were even re-enforced with, “It is unethical and immoral to do that to your body. Your body is your temple and deserves to be nurtured, not tortured”.
No way, no how!
I was in massive contradiction. A visceral civil war between fundamental and fiercely held beliefs of deep respect for my body and an obvious path to literally ‘Stepping up’ – my promise to Danni and life itself.
I couldn’t say yes. I needed to process it. I knew I somehow had to do it but I was deeply torn.
It took a full week to reach a quiet ‘yes’, a reasoning that made sense.
Given that I am in the business of personal development and releasing potential, I would become my own incubator.
I would use this training period (the 2.25 years) to observe myself as I undertook the deliberate journey from ‘impossible’ to ‘possible’.
I’d note what was needed, what barriers arose, what worked, and what didn’t.
Essentially, it was to identify crucial insights, the ingredients for just such an article as this.
It was a highly plausible and rational reason – and one that has served me.
But here’s the thing, it wasn’t the real reason.
If I’m honest, the more compelling reasons were:
In our running team of three, the other two had already said yes. I didn’t want to be the odd-man out. (Oh, the power of exclusion!)
With the decision made, our gradual training was steadily undertaken and on 8 February 2020 we completed the ‘impossible’ Tarawera 52km ultra marathon. In the above picture, that’s me on the far side, Shaun second from the left.
We ran and finished as we had trained – crossing the finish line together. Our desire to support the other succeed was as strong as our desire to achieve ourselves.
Reverse-engineering ‘Impossible’ – the three essentials
So what were the three essentials to going far beyond anything we had done before?
Recalibrate your Identity
Our identity is how we define ourselves to ourselves. And we act in accordance with that identity.
As Tony Robbins says, “The strongest force in the human personality is the need to remain consistent with you define yourself.”
If you see yourself as a generous person, you will do generous acts.
Initially I saw myself as an occasional runner, I acted and thought accordingly. If I had continued with that identity, I would have undermined my own best intentions and would have had to rely on willpower to ‘gut it out’.
That’s called friction. Ultimately unsustainable.
I needed to move from the type of person who wanted to run a trail ultra, to the sort of person who is an ultra- trail runner.
I recognised this, so I deliberately redefined my identity to: I am an ultra-marathon trail runner.
Does an ultra-marathon runner think differently, train more thoroughly, study running more intently than an occasional runner? Absolutely
Running became part of who I was/am; an identity-based habit and behaviour change.
Every time I trained, I reaffirmed the person I wanted to be in the world – my inner sense of alignment was even more fulfilling than the growing ease of physical conditioning.
I was becoming truer to me.
What is something you want to achieve? I highly recommend deliberately crafting a redefined identity statement around this, one that captures your intent exactly.
The structure of an identity statement is ‘I am a/an [adjective] [noun]’ e.g. I am a trusting leader. I am a gritty ultra-marathon runner.
The more specific you can be, the deeper the self-connection, self-validation and self-contract.
YOUR TURN: What’s yours?
Know Your ‘Why’
Simply by asking ‘why I do what I do?’ moves you towards the first principles of yourself – your core fundamentals.
By answering that question (Why do I do what I do?) and then answering, ‘And why is that important to me?’ you come to know your core motivators.
Motive (reason) is at the core of motivation.
It’s the oomph that will get you out of bed on cold mornings to train, to continue with hill repeats even when your legs feel like jelly.
So, what was my ‘why?’ I had several.
YOUR TURN: So, why do you do what you do? What else? And why is that important to you?
Deliberately select your Tribe
“If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.” – African proverb
Well, yes and no.
It depends on what’s important to that group – what are their values? Are they the same as yours?
I guess the definition of ‘your tribe’ is those who share the same values. Those you feel ‘at home with.’
But there are nuances when it comes to selecting a tribe to help you achieving the impossible. Two, in fact.
Let’s unpack those.
Point 1: If you want to run 50km, join a group that regularly runs 21km trainings or are in training for 100km ultra. You’ll struggle to keep up initially but it soon normalises
If you’re looking to build your wealth through real estate, join a group of investment property owners.
If we’re the average of the five people we spend most time with, let those people be ‘better’ than you in your chosen endeavour
Point 2: Ideally, you will have a lot more in common with that group than, say, running.
Our running group shared a lot in common: all were business owners, happily married, two kids, had similar political views, were not interested in mediocre.
There was even more ‘glue’ to meeting up. We felt comfortable with each other.
YOUR TURN: So what tribe can you join whose minimum is what you are striving for and you have multiple things in common with?
PS And 12 month’s on…here’s a picture of Shaun, Ricky and I ready to start and then to cross the finish line of our second Tarawera Ultra- (52km) 2021
PPS Shaun and Ricky have just said ‘Yes’ to the 2022 Tarawera 100km! I’m having to reapply all these tools again, to achieve my next ‘Impossible’ with them
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The only thing certain in life (apart from death) is uncertainty. Doesn’t that phrase ring true after the challenges and uncertainties of the pandemic? I’ve seen it with my leadership coaching clients and it’s clearer than ever: chaos and uncertainty are now front and centre in leadership and business.
The best leaders and organizations know how to expect, mitigate, and overcome uncertainty. But do they actually thrive and grow in it? Or are they victims to this ambiguity, struggling to get by.
Emergent leadership utilizes situational decision-making to handle uncertainty and chaos. As part of your leadership development, focus on implementing these three ideas: strategize for uncertainty, understand employee behaviours to draw out strengths, and think in essentials.
Read moreThe first step is realizing that uncertainty needs to be accounted for in organizational strategy. Many leaders see uncertainty and chaos as an anomaly or outlier to their carefully-crafted plans. In reality, they need to be accounted for within strategic planning.
An emergent leader will go beyond a linear plan and look at what can and will go wrong. The military uses the acronym VUCA (Volatile, Uncertain, Complex, Ambiguous) to analyse a scenario and strategize how to approach it.
This mindset can be applied to business and leadership: there will be uncertainty, how do we plan for it?
Organizations typically have an HR strategy that focuses on people and leadership development, and a corporate strategy that focuses on company operations. To adequately address uncertainty, these need to be connected. All people in the organization need to be trained and empowered to make role-appropriate decisions that are in line with the company’s goals.
The second focus area is to build a team that is capable and confident in responding to change. Each team member needs to be able to make decisions and adjust to challenges. It is not sustainable as a leader to make every decision on behalf of your team; you need to empower others to make decisions, too.
To accomplish this, identify the strengths in your team. Everyone has core behaviours – such as flexibility, risk-tolerance, or communication – that are energising, easy to do and they’re good at. If they meet these three criteria, they’re strengths. By taking time to understand and know who is on your team, you can leverage their specific strengths as part of your strategic plan.
Let’s say you’ve engaged in robust leadership training and professional development with your team and know who is a risk taker and who is risk averse. Using this information, you can develop a plan for how each individual should act in certain scenarios and provide a scope of decision-making that is appropriate to their personality and strengths.
The last piece is for leaders to think in essentials. This means reducing the complexity down to a bare, distinct summary of what really matters. By paring down business mission to just three needle-movers, team members can focus on what needs to be done and have the mental capacity to manage chaos.
A practical way to do this is to apply ‘task + why’ Instructions.
If an employee is tasked to do something – say, pick up lunch at the restaurant down the street – they need to be told the purpose, the ‘why.’ This way, if the original restaurant is closed, but they know the budget and type of food to order, they can pivot and make a new choice that still fulfils the purpose. This eliminates the need for excessive leadership input into small decisions and helps incorporate situational decision-making into every business operation.
When you consistently focus on the essentials and are clear on the purpose, you are empowering your team to manage uncertainty and chaos. Instead of constantly putting out fires, you give each team member the tools to put it out themselves, or even prevent it from starting in the first place.
Chaos and uncertainty is no longer an outlier in a leader’s normal business function. Reality shows us that storms are inevitable and leaders need to prepare for them. The best way is to practice situational-decision making and empower their team to do so as well.
By deliberately strategizing for uncertainty, empowering team members through their strengths, and focusing on essentials, leaders can handle and thrive in any storm.
If you loved this article, join the weekly newsletter — featuring tips and reflections on leadership development and stress management in the modern world. Join the 5,000+ leaders who have it delivered straight to their inbox each week.
Have you been struggling with productivity? Or perhaps you are feeling like you just can’t motivate yourself or focus like you used to.
You are not alone! One of the many challenges of this past year was the complete upheaval of the way we work. Many people find it challenging to stay productive and focused while working remotely.
Here are some common experiences leaders are having:
Even as we put COVID-19 in the rear-view mirror, challenges to productivity and focus are bound to follow us throughout our careers. And as a leader, it is even more important to get back on track in order to lead your company and employees well.
So, what can be done? How to re-establish and sustain productivity and focus?
Well, it turns out that current research in the both the ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and Executive Coaching fields have a lot to tell us about how to fight this lack of focus and attention. These fields use psychology research and study areas of personality and cognition and how they overlap with productivity.
Let’s first identify what the demons of distraction are so you can identify and be aware of them. Here are some common ones:
So, are you ready to slay these demons? Here are some actionable tips to implement right away:
We all struggle with focus, productivity, and attention at times. But the good news is that there are things you can do to address it! Make sure to implement these tips to slay your own demons of distraction, and become the best leader you can be.
If you loved this article, join the weekly newsletter — featuring tips and reflections on leadership development and stress management in the modern world. Join the 5,000+ leaders who have it delivered straight to their inbox each week.
Leaders face constant challenges in the workplace. I bet you can list them with me: financial constraints, competing priorities, stakeholder interests, underperforming employees – the list goes on. This forces us to maximize time and efficiency in the workplace, just to get things done.
But what if that efficiency is keeping you from being the best leader you can be? Or, if the way you interact with staff is keeping them from performing at their best?
When we prioritize efficiency and speed, we might miss something else: authenticity.
A leader being authentic gives safety for team members to also express their authenticity. This, in turn, builds trust, connection and engagement across the team.
Here are some ways to accelerate your leadership development by weaving authenticity into the workplace.
Read more
Successful leadership has many facets – we know this and see it play out each day. If you are on a leadership development journey, you have inevitably developed multiple practical skillsets to achieve success. However, many leaders neglect the one thing that can make the biggest difference – mindset.
For many, mindset is a blurry concept. So let’s bring it into sharp focus.
You mindset is the lens you see the world through. It is the meaning you make (or your interpretation) of the events you experience. It is how you translate everyday events. The story you make up about the event.
For some, getting constructive feedback is felt as threatening or an attack. For others, it is welcomed as a new perspective to consider and make improvements from. The mindset (or meaning made) about feedback is markedly different.
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One of the most significant leadership mistakes you can make is underestimating the cruciality of the so-called "soft skills." In leadership your team takes their behavioural cues from you. So, it's vital that you communicate effectively, yet sensitively, at every level.
It’s your soft skills — also known as emotional intelligence (EI), that sets the tone throughout your whole company / team. Developing your emotional intelligence, enhances your relationships with staff and thus your business’ resilience.
If you’re experiencing people issues in your company, it’s your soft skills that will solve them.
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As a human species, our progress has evolved out from a biology (and psychology) that craves community. We are innately social and emotional creatures, and for great communication, it’s crucial to understand this as a leader.
In practical leadership development terms, what does this look like?
A common mistake leaders make is thinking of communication as logic. We’re a complicated species, needing more than a well-made point to win us over. Instead, deeper connection comes from the trust and loyalty built through an emotional connection.
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As a leader, you make many repetitive decisions every day. This can lead to cruising on autopilot, which is not the best way to steer your organization or company!.
Cultivating deep self-awareness within your leadership development is essential to help make conscious decisions that are the best for you and your company, not resorting to the easiest.
What if you self-reflect and find yourself approaching business or organizational issues on autopilot or with a defensive, “This is the way it’s always been done.”? The cut-through you seek is via curiosity, observation, and self-awareness.
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Information overload and disruption often renders us, as leaders, feeling overwhelmed, and dispirited; unsure of our next step. Covid, as an example, has not been a ‘wind of change’, more an overwhelm-tornado.
A bad thing?
The inconvenient truth of leadership development is: the growth we seek occurs fastest during uncomfortability. Leading is learning. Discomfort is our friend. Pain is a catalyst.
The greater question, therefore, is how to experience discomfort yet remain intact and on-target. How to grow through and with discomfort? How to engage BRAVE-LY
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